39 “Freedom”

Freedom has a price! At different turning points in my life, I have wrestled with values until I could identify what was most important to me.

The conclusion always seemed the same, I wanted freedom. I wanted the freedom to believe and to live in what brought me life.

But at times, moms give up freedom so our children can eventually find theirs. How well I remember those years of going back to college in order to become a teacher.

I had to make a living so my children could go on living. Was it worth it? You bet it was.

Now, like so many other teachers, I give up freedom every day in order to prepare youth for their future, whether or not they appreciate my efforts.

Freedom is why I love to write. When I write, no one tells me what to write or how to write. I write because I enjoy expressing myself, whether any one else ever reads the words or not.

I can process my confusion and pain. I can think through my goals and objectives. I can identify who I am, what I want, and where I want to go.

But freedom has a price. I have learned that not everyone heralds your choices as brilliant or well-versed. Many may even criticize or use your words as fodder for folly (I like the sound of that).

Working within systems—churches, schools, businesses—requires a certain amount of freedom sacrificing. So when I write, I want my freedom back!

When I create something I find beautiful or meaningful or unique, I experience freedom that takes me beyond all of the usual “life requirements” that squelch my spirit. At times, I like the future’s slate blank.

Sometimes I mistake the carrot of wealth for the promise of freedom. “If I only had more money, I could do what I yearn for and go where I want to,” is how the thinking plays out in my mind. Yet, I have learned from past experience that making money does not guarantee freedom. Often freedom is sacrificed in order to make money.

I have come to an impasse in my ambition as a writer. The reality is that without a large following, I will probably not find a publisher. At first this truth stung until I thought about the price of freedom.

If I self-publish, I may never boast of becoming a best-selling author, but I will be free.

So I will continue to do what I love to do the most in this life and that is to encourage others. The joy writing has become already extends beyond my ability to express in words. Through writing, I have come to find peace with myself and with my Creator and that is something that money cannot buy.

Perhaps there might just be a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow; however, the wonderful gift of writing is that you can pick up some of freedom’s coins along the way.

Blogging Quest learning noted: The blogs that are most captivating for me are those with vibrant photos and honest words.