“Mary, I miss you.”

I miss my former Twelve-step sponsor. I want to tell her I sang her favorite affirmation on the way to work yesterday, “This is the day the Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad,” and it worked. I felt my courage return.  

I want to tell her that I sing this scripture every day and have since she taught me to do so eighteen years ago…when I needed courage to face my darkened world.  

I miss Mary, her kind face, and soothing words that often return to me, “When you know better, you will do better.”  

She helped me to accept my imperfections and trust that, eventually, I would possess the strength of character to choose what was healthy and right for my children and me. I still try to believe those words, in spite of every miserable moment filled with ignorant choices that riddles my past.  

Recently, I received a wonderful honor from a fellow blogger, Izzie:  

“JoDee Luna, https://jodeeluna.wordpress.com  JoDee writes from her heart and her posts always touch me and make me think. She is very accomplished but does not rest on her laurels. Her quest to follow her dreams, find higher ground, and share all this with us is a gift.”  

Her blog is one of my favorites so you just have to stop by and enjoy her invigorating humor, sharp wit, and pensive reflections http://izziedarling.wordpress.com/.  

After I read Izzie’s compliment, I missed Mary even more and wanted to tell her,  

“Mary, you and I both know the truth. Had you not spoken those words over the SANON hotline, “You are going to be ok!” Men in white coats would have come and taken me away in a straight jacket.”  

How amazing that the wisdom, words, love, and care of one remarkable woman could retrain my brain to hope, to believe, to heal.  

I miss you Mary, and I want to say thank you for teaching me how to live!  

*Author’s side note: Even though I have never been able to relocate my former Twelve-step sponsor, the spirit of Mary lives on in my heart, in my life, and in her words I pass on to you.